Monday, August 3, 2020
gluten allergy

After Binging on Pizza and Beer, Local Man Claims to Have Gluten Allergy

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BERKELEY, CA – Local resident Charles Longfellow is no stranger to beer.  “A typical weekend I’ll go through a couple cases,” he told reporters boastfully. This 36-year-old male has been living the same weekend for the...

The Days of Limitless “Allergies” Are Numbered

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WASHINGTON, DC - Americans have always enjoyed the right to have a limitless numbers of allergies, but after new CMS guidelines were approved this week, all patients will be limited to a maximum of 3...
lightsaber

Vader Pharmaceuticals Introduces New EpiLightsaber for Anaphylaxis

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DEATH STAR II - In response to the growing prevalence of food allergies among employees of the evil Galactic Empire, Vader Pharmaceuticals have announced the development of an epinephrine autoinjector called an EpiLightsaber to...

True Allergy Detector, Maling-o-Vision, Now Available for Google Glass‏

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MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA - In response to an unprecedented epidemic of claimed non-narcotic pain medication allergies among patients with chronic pain conditions, Google has teamed up with local EDs to roll out a novel...

Physician Recruitment Ad Statements and What They Really Mean

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Ad text Actual meaning Established medical center is a state of the art, modern, newly renovated hospital   The MRI works 12 hours out of the week, and the cost of that new fountain in the lobby will...
Shkreli & Bresch

Breaking: Martin Shkreli & Heather Bresch Are A**holes

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NEW YORK, NY - In a candid interview on CBS News yesterday, Martin Shkreli admitted that "Yes, Heather Bresch and I are a**holes."  Mylan CEO Heather Bresch has been on the hot seat recently for...
allergies

Today’s Allerlogical Forecast

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Aries: Have you been thinking about peanuts, Aries?  If so, there are likely peanuts in your future.  But you won't even touch them, because you ate a cashew one time and your lips felt...

Family Cancels Vacation after EpiPen Use

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INDIANAPOLIS, IN - Bad news from the Carson family house yesterday, Chris and Jenny had to tell their kids that their recent use of an EpiPen, for an allergic reaction, forced them to cancel...

Most Popular Medical Questions of 2016 by State

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2016 is complete, and we combed through the data at Google to find out what were the most popular medical questions asked by state (click the map to enlarge): What is New England's obsession with...
traffic jam Flonase

Doctor Tries to Clear Up Traffic Congestion with Flonase

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ATLANTA, GA - Sincerely hoping that the rush-hour traffic this afternoon is just a manifestation of seasonal allergies, internist Roger Willoughby has just given two spritzes of Flonase (fluticasone) outside of both his driver's...
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