Friday, March 29, 2024

Cardiology

proximal LAD

Badass: Cardiologist Stents Own Proximal LAD Just ‘Cause He Can

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NASHVILLE, TN - In a dazzling display of both self-sufficiency and badassery, Vanderbilt cardiologist Dr. Barnett Timberland has just successfully stented his own proximal LAD (left anterior descending coronary artery) just because he can. ...

Interventional Radiologist Uses Dental Floss, Chewing Gum to Fix Broken Pipe in Kitchen Sink

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NEW YORK, NY - Newly-minted interventional radiology attending Dr. Marcus Jones scored a personal victory today when he successfully mended a leaking pipe leading to his kitchen sink using only dental floss and chewing...

HHS Announces New Crack Down on Illicit Cardiac Massage Parlors

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Officials from the Department of Health and Human Services Monday announced a joint operation with Departments of Homeland Security and the Federal Bureau of Investigation to crack down on illicit cardiac...
racehorse peeing Lasix

Racehorse Confirms He’s Peeing Like a Human on Lasix

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LOUISVILLE, KY - A 4-year-old thoroughbred and racehorse named I's & O's has confirmed with Gomerblog that he is not only peeing but peeing profusely, like a human on Lasix (furosemide). "No question, I'm urinating...
0-lead ECG budget cutbacks

Report: Spike in 0-Lead ECGs the Result of Budget Cutbacks

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BOSTON, MA - Hospital administrators are under increased pressure to make ends meet, and the latest series of budget cutbacks at Massachusetts Lieutenant General Hospital (MLGH) has explained a recent spike in the number...
curves Frank Starling

ACC/AHA: Check Out the Curves on Dr. Frank, Dr. Starling!!

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - The American College of Cardiology (ACC) & American Heart Association (AHA) have issued a joint statement, telling people to look over there and check out the bodacious curves on Dr. Frank...
arterial line circle of willis CPR emergency department butthurt audacity code shift change prior authorization otherwise stable

So Rude: Patient Has the Audacity to Code at Shift Change

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ORLANDO, FL - In one of the most selfish acts of which Gomerblog has heard in recent memory, a 72-year-old male patient admitted last night to the 43 med-surg unit of Orlando Medical Center...
precordial thump

Review: Lesser-Known Variants of the Precordial Thump

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The precordial thump is a technique by which a health care professionals thumps the chest of a patient in ventricular fibrillation or pulseless ventricular tachycardia when a defibrillator is not present.  It has a...

Trump Tweets About More Medical Specialties

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President Trump has gone back to Twitter to tweet about some of the specialties he forgot in his first tweetstorm!
nystatin statin

Dammit, It’s a Ruse! Nystatin Isn’t a Statin After All

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BETHESDA, MD - The medical world is at a loss for words after scientists at the National Institute of Health (NIH) dropped the megaton bombshell that nystatin isn't a real statin after all.  That's...