Saturday, September 19, 2020

Orthopedics

Differentiating ACLs from ACLS: A Primer

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GLOBO GYM, MA - Like most orthopods, I know a lot about ACLs. Unfortunately, I’m also required to take ACLS biennially. When my schedule said “ACLS” a few months ago, I presumed that I...

Avagard Widely Replaced by Gym Chalk in Ortho Surgery Centers

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FREEHOLD, NJ - Avagard, the surgical hand antiseptic is now being replaced in many orthopedic surgery centers across the globe. The replacement? Large bowls of gym chalk, magnesium carbonate, seated next to the operating...
orthopedic surgeon ortho spelling bee WBAT sticks & stones

Breaking: Ortho Declares War on Sticks & Stones

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ROSEMONT, IL - The American Academy of Orthopaedic Surgeons (AAOS) has officially declared war on sticks and stones, Gomerblog reports.  “Starting today we formally declare war on two of our greatest adversaries: sticks & stones,”...

Too Much Pressure: Masseuse Breaks All 206 Bones in Client’s Body

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OKLAHOMA CITY, OK - Despite the request to use only light-to-medium pressure during a one hour deep tissue massage, masseuse Lindsey Wang has gone overboard and accidentally broken all 206 bones in her client Gabby...
nursemaids marching

Nation’s Nursemaids March to Clear Name

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WASHINGTON, D.C. – Nursemaids from around the nation convened on the National Mall Tuesday to rally against what they called, “years of injustice and unfair social stigma perpetuated by the American healthcare system.” At...

An Orthopaedic Surgeon Explains Renal Tubular Acidosis

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GLOBOGYM HEADQUARTERS, MA - Apparently someone at GomerBlog Twitter headquarters thought it would be funny to make me explain a “real” medical topic to celebrate GomerBlog hitting 25k followers. You posers and hosers voted...
orthopedic surgeon orthopedics orthopaedics

Breaking News: Orthopod Catches Dosing Error

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BOSTON, MA - Rotating Orthopedics 4th year resident, Dr. Brandt Sullivan, caught a medication error at Boston Children’s Hospital two nights ago. Dr. Sullivan was in his call room watching Crossfit videos when his...
unsteady gate

Hospitalist Consults PT to Assess Unsteady Gate

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VININGS, GA - Concerned that it is now high risk and a fall is imminent, hospitalist Martin Halvorson has asked if physical therapy (PT) could come to his front yard and assess his unsteady...
doctor calling consult

Area Doctor Now Apologizes Before Every Consult

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MARKERSBURG, TN - Dr. Lois Siento thinks she has the key to improving relationships between primary teams and consultants. "It's simple," she explains. "We give consultant business. Consultants like to get cases from us that...
medulla oblongata intramedullary nail IMN

Orthopod Places Intramedullary Nail Into Medulla Oblongata

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ANN ARBOR, MI - Expanding the possibilities of what can be done in the subspecialty of orthopedic surgery, orthopod Brock Hammersley has placed an intramedullary nail (IMN) into his patient's medulla oblongata in order...
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