LOS ANGELES, CA – Thinking of no better time than the Fourth of July to come out with the news, pop sensation Katy Perry has admitted to Gomerblog that her 2010 chart-topping hit “Firework” is really a public service announcement about the importance of fireworks safety.
“I want everyone to enjoy Independence Day, but to do so responsibly, that’s the essence of my song,” Perry said, explaining that when she croons “Baby you’re a firework” she’s pleading with people to understand the risks of devastating burns, and that “Make ’em go ‘Oh, oh, oh!'” is a nod to the fact that fireworks start nearly 20,000 fires per year.
Perry was so kind as to through her song lyric by lyric, which was co-written by Perry and the National Council on Fireworks Safety, and the message is very clear: fireworks are extremely dangerous if you don’t know what you’re doing.
- “Do you ever feel like a plastic bag drifting through the wind” means on a windy day, the risk of an accidental fire skyrockets
- “Do you ever feel so paper thin like a house of cards” means that in the ER, don’t be surprised if they call cardiology to cath you
- “Do you ever feel already buried deep six feet under scream” means the trauma is so bad, palliative care might need to be called on board
- “Do you know that there’s still a chance for you ’cause there’s a spark in you” means “Whoops, you just caught on fire!”
- “After a hurricane comes a rainbow” means phlebotomy is going to perform a full-spectrum draw of blood including CBC, chemistries, and troponins
- “Boom, boom boom, even brighter than the moon, moon, moon” means if it’s a full moon sort of night, you might blow yourself to pieces
“There’s nothing I want more than for families to celebrate this special day with barbecues, beer, and fireworks, just be smart and safe and spare our first responders, ER and trauma personnel the extra work,” the California Gurl confessed with sincerity, hoping that no American today “roars” in accidental self-inflicted pain. “Can I tell you another secret? I kissed an EHR and I liked it.”