New ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ Vaccine Covers All Infections A to Z
ALPHABET CITY, NY—With so many recommended vaccines—MMR, DTaP, IPV, Hib, PCV, RV etc—it can be challenging to remember all their names, let alone when to give them. That is, until now. That’s because there’s...
Politicians, Nostalgic for the 1990s, Unanimously Support “Medicare-for-All-4-One
WASHINGTON, DC—In a stunning display of bipartisanship that is all too rare in Washington these days, Congress unanimously passed a new health insurance plan today. This historic bill, entitled “Medicare-for-All-4-One,” guarantees free lifetime medical...
Patient With No Past Medical History Has Sternotomy Scar, Central Line, G-tube
An area emergency room physician was stunned today when his patient, a 4 year old boy whose parents denied any medical history, was found to have a well-healed sternotomy scar on examination.
"Imagine my surprise...
New Drug Company “Big Pharma” releases full range of Placebos
Despite being one of the most studied medications there has never been a range of placebos released onto the market. The newly launched Pharmaceutical company “Big Pharma” saw this gap and have developed a...
Physicians can now legally ghost patients
New York, New York- In an exciting turn of events congress has recently passed bill 151, also known as “the ghost law”. After much heated deliberation with strong consideration from physicians from petitions, bill...
FDA approves new drug for hypochondria, Placebadil
Stock prices of Pfizer are predicted to hit record levels in the next 6 months. This is because they recently introduced the first ever drug to treat hypochondria. This drug is predicted to revolutionize...
Interventional Radiology and General Radiology Sign Nuclear Treaty
OSLO, NORWAY - This past Friday the American Radiology Association facilitated a landmark nuclear deal between members of interventional radiology and general radiology. Deep-rooted historic and cultural entanglements have long polarized these two groups....
General Practitioner Pilots Rewards Program for Chronic Patients
SEATTLE, WA - Dr. Samuel Sheepman, a general practitioner at Wortley Medical Clinic, has created a new frequent flyer rewards program for chronic illness patients.
“For example, say we have a patient with fibromyalgia. For...
Desperate Officials Offer Deal to Twentysomethings: If You Wear a Mask, You Can Ditch...
BEAR, DE—In an admirable attempt to incentivize mask-wearing amongst America’s twentysomethings, who are thought to be driving the summer resurgence of Covid-19 due to a callous disregard for CDC recommendations, health officials have offered...
‘Schmutz’ Added to List of ICD-10 Radiologic Diagnoses
In a stunning move by the WHO this past Friday, “Schmutz” was formally incorporated into the list of acceptable ICD-10 diagnoses for radiological findings.
Technically defined as a filthy substance such as dust or grime,...