NASA Plans to Build a Skilled Nursing Facility on Mars
MERRITT ISLAND, FL - Scientists have been planning a human mission to Mars for exploration and habitation for decades. Successful travel to and habitation of Mars would be a monumental accomplishment for science, physics, and...
Reminder: Vasopressin First-Line for Treatment of Sticker Shock
MOUNT PROSPECT, IL - With holiday shopping in full swing, the Society of Critical Care Medicine (SCCM) is reminding health care professionals that vasopressin is first line for the treatment of patients hospitalized in...
MS-IV Doesn’t Match After Failing to Post Board Scores on Facebook
James Thomas, a fourth-year medical student, went unmatched this year after he failed to report his passing board scores on his Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and LinkedIn accounts.
Thomas was unable to secure a spot in...
Correction: Billionaire Purchases Hundreds of Ventilators FROM Coronavirus-Stricken Hospitals
An earlier version of this article erroneously indicated that the billionaire purchased ventilators FOR coronavirus-stricken hospitals, implying he was going to donate them to the hospitals. Oops! What a difference a little preposition makes....
Psychiatry Consulted to Determine if Lungs Have Capacity
BOSTON, MA - In an unusual move yesterday at Massachusetts Lieutenant General Hospital (MGLH), a medical team has consulted psychiatry to determine if their patient's lungs have capacity.
"This is a great teaching case because,...
Med Student Knocks Out 30 Teeth Attempting to Intubate Patient, Intern Gets the 7-10...
TUSKEGEE, AL – In an unprecedented display of disregard for dentition, MS4 Gunner McDeebag managed to knock out all but two of a patient’s teeth while attempting his first intubation during an elective anesthesia...
Hospital Administrator Invents Time Travel to Eliminate 30 day Readmission Penalty
The small town community of Westbrook, NC was in shock last week as its local hospital VP of operations, Mr. Emmett Brown ODB, BMF, MBA, announced a groundbreaking invention that proved the long standing...
Anesthesia Makes Surgical Recommendations
In a world flip-turned upside down, anesthesia has had enough and is making recommendations on how to do surgery.
During a hernia surgery: “Oh, you’re using a 3-0 Vicryl and 4-0 Monocryl to close? I’d...
Local Psychiatrist Using Big Words, Wondering Why Patients Aren’t Improving
MEMPHIS, TN - "I usually start the session off by telling the patient about my triple boards in psychiatry, adult developmental psychiatry, and addiction medicine. Then I continue into how long medical school was...
Hospital Administrators Announce Summer Camp Itinerary
To combat falling patient satisfaction scores and record staff turnover administration at Grace Disciple Advent Mother Mary Incarnate Theresa hospital (G-DAMMIT) has scheduled a mandatory Summer Camp for providers.
Team building activities include:
Patient family tug...
