ACLS KEY BELOW:
* Medical Team Confused as Patient Made DNR Tuesdays, Thursdays, Saturdays
** Joint Commission Mandates Extensive Timeout Prior to Initiating CPR
*** Product Review: Mattel’s Resuscitate Me Elmo
**** New CPR Guidelines Recommend Switching Out Providers Every 5 Cycles to Update Facebook Status
***** Beverage Container Left Open at Nurses Station, Three Dead as a Result
****** Nurse Has License Suspected for Ordering Wrong Sandwich
^ Naptime Now Required for Residents per ACGME Guidelines
^^ Hospital’s Electronic Health Record to be Replaced by New, Efficient “Paper Chart” System
^^^ Hospital Administrator Delivers Clutch Performance During In-Flight Cardiac Arrest
^^^^ Patient Allergic to Epinephrine, Dies When Doctor Suddenly Slams Door
^^^^^ ICU Team Excited to Untangle Lines After Patient Dropped Off from OR
^^^^^^ Nurse Relieved to Find Out that Patient’s Family Member’s Aunt is a Nurse
