Narconipple Implant Helps Add Opioids to Breastfeeding
SEATTLE, WA - Narconipple Inc. is pleased to introduce its revolutionary patented product, the Fentanypple. The Fentanypple is a narcotic breast implant that delivers a pre-measured and satisfying dose of delightful narcotics to any...
Sweet Tooth Identified: Dentists Localize to Tooth 32
HERSHEY, PA - After an exhaustive search spanning decades, the nation’s leading dentists have finally identified the ever-elusive sweet tooth, localizing it to Tooth 32 in the bottom right quadrant.
“To the lover of sweets out...
A Primer to How We All Consult One Another
Does your patient need help but you're just not sure who to consult for help? This GomerBlog primer is here to break things down and ensure your patient receives the absolute best care possible.
Does...
Breaking: Martin Shkreli & Heather Bresch Are A**holes
NEW YORK, NY - In a candid interview on CBS News yesterday, Martin Shkreli admitted that "Yes, Heather Bresch and I are a**holes." Mylan CEO Heather Bresch has been on the hot seat recently for...
Mutations in the Anti-Vaxxers’ Brain Discovered
Scientists have made a major breakthrough in understanding the brain functions of anti-vaccine proponents (anti-vaxxers). Mutations in the Y74 gene encode for these transformations. Environmental factors, such as US/UK location, lack of a formal education, Facebook...
This Just In: Your Health Care Job Sucks
Hey YOU, that’s right, I’m talking to you. Gomerblog just wanted to take some time to let you know that your job sucks. Really. It’s terrible. I know you’ve worked for years to be...
Code Brown Forces Hospital Evacuation; SWAT and FBI Called In
LOS ANGELES, CA - A local medical center was evacuated this morning after a Code Brown in the pediatric wing of the hospital quickly evolved into a series of increasingly dire hospital-wide emergencies, including...
Startling Report: CDC Recommends Against Vaccinations, Anti-Vaxxers Now Demanding Their Right to Vaccinate
ATLANTA, GA - After a funding change, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) completed a meta-analysis using super statistical procedures and skewed graph scales, which showed that the rate of significant adverse...
This Physician Won the KevinMD Big Burnout Sweepstakes. Here’s Why.
TWITTER – The social media giant was abuzz today when news broke that John Roberts, a primary care physician from Sioux Falls, SD, had won the much anticipated “KevinMD Big Burnout Sweepstakes.” Dr. Roberts...
Crayola Releases New Colors of Emergency Codes
EASTON, PA - In an effort to overhaul and better standardize emergency codes and make “Everything Imaginable” for health care providers, Crayola has announced the release of a new 64 ct. Hospital Code System,...
