In an Effort to Dissuade Students from Primary Care, Medical School Administrators Push for...
PHILADELPHIA, PA - “Far too often medical students realize too late that primary care is nightmarishly broad, poorly compensated, and bloated with paperwork,” explains...
Vaccinations Now Definitively Linked to Pregnancy
BOSTON, MA - A new study just published in the Old England Journal of Medicine now definitively links childhood vaccinations to pregnancy. Jenny McCarthy,...
AMiON Scheduler To Be Replaced With A Simplified Text Saying ‘Yes’
NEWTON, MA - In a move aimed at reducing operative costs, Spiral software's administrative staff issued a statement according to which AMiON popular scheduler is...
Attending Answers Telephone at Nurse’s Station, Immediately Regrets Decision
IOWA CITY, IA - Havoc struck the medical ICU this morning when 49 year old intensivist Oliver Reynolds inexplicably decided to answer a telephone...
Patient Holding $1000 new iPhone X Very Upset About $5 Prescription CoPay
LA JOLLA, CA – Natalia Miller could not understand what the idiots at the La Jolla Primary Care Clinic and Botox Salon didn’t get...
Neurologists Recommend Gas-X for Treatment of Brain Farts
MINNEAPOLIS, MN - The American Academy of Neurology (AAN) has updated their guidelines for the diagnosis and management of brain farts, a condition characterized...
Fifth Season of Netflix’s ‘Narcos’ To Be Set In Washington, D.C.
SCOTTS VALLEY, CA - Seasons 1 through 3 chronicled the drug trade through Columbia, Season 4 is poised to go to Mexico, and it...
Breaking: Nice Patients Added to Endangered Species List
WASHINGTON, DC - In a move suggesting they are likely to become extinct unless something more is done to save them for future generations, the...
Lazy Eye Not Even Trying to See
TALLAHASSEE, FL – In an embarrassing show of pure slothfulness, the right eye of 28-year-old Christopher Chang has become so lazy that it won’t...
North Korea Frantically Getting Rid of Expired Missiles Prior to Upcoming Joint Commission Inspection
PYONGYANG, NORTH KOREA – The president of North Korea, Kim Jong-un shocked the world when he started launching missiles at a more frenetic pace than...