Three Wise Monkeys Support CDC Opioid Guidelines: ‘See No Dilaudid, Hear No Dilaudid, Speak...
NIKKO, JAPAN - For the first time in centuries, the three wise monkeys have spoken. In an exclusive and brief statement to GomerBlog, the...
Area LEGO Man Admitted with Bright Red Blocks Per Rectum
LEGOLAND, FL - An area LEGO man is in serious condition at LEGOLAND Medical Center after he presented to the emergency department (ED) with...
Study: Heimlich Maneuver Not Effective on Choking Athletes
AUGUSTA, GA - On the heels of Jordan Spieth's epic collapse during the final round of the Masters in April, a study published in...
Warriors Fans Suffering Chest Pain Radiating from Steph Curry’s Sprained Knee
OAKLAND, CA - Sharpshooter Stephen Curry has officially suffered a sprained right MCL, which is so painful that it is in fact radiating to the...
Earth Day News: After 4.5 Billion Years, Earth Remains Full Code
THIRD PLANET, SOLAR SYSTEM - After a two-hour long meeting with NASA’s palliative care service, Earth has decided to remain Full Code.
“Hey now, I’m...
Post-Cardiac Arrest Fonzie Not Eligible for Therapeutic Hypothermia, “He’s Already Too Cool”
MILWAUKEE, WI - The critical care service at Sweet Sweet Mercy Hospital has denied Fonzie a potentially life-saving intervention. He recently suffered an out...
Report: Patient Experiencing Apnea 14 Times A Minute
NINTH FLOOR – Nurse Jenny Holcomb is starting to be very concerned about her postoperative back patient who is starting to experience apnea 16 times a...
Hospital Institutes Popular “One for You, One for Me” Medication Policy
LOS ANGELES, CA - In a move being praised by providers and patients alike, local Have Mercy Hospital has begun implementing a "one for you,...
Patients Cancel Colonoscopy Due to Diarrhea
BOSTON, MA - Due to a local outbreak of a diarrheal illness that has been short lived, several of our planned colonoscopies have been...
“Minions” Movie Linked to Rising Rates of Pediatric Hyperkalemia
Emergency departments across the country have been seeing an alarming trend of rising rates of pediatric hyperkalemia since summer of last year. Hyperkalemia, which...